It's 7:36 Christmas Eve Morning and my life is already looking pretty chaotic today. Yesterday I ended up running around the city for my mom looking for a "Zune" gift card for my little sister's mp3 player. I ended up finding it at Best Buy, the fourth and LAST store I was going to try. This morning I woke up to a text message from my mom asking me to meet her somewhere so I can give her the gift card... But it's cool.
I had an extremely huge argument with my grandparents yesterday. As I told you before I'm a baptized Catholic lesbian and my grandparents are STRICT Catholics. My grandfather decided to throw a fit over some shoes he found in his car, accusing my girlfriend of leaving them there. So of course I made that phone call and they weren't hers but he wasn't convinced. He went on a raging rant and then asked me if I was the "stud" or "masculine one" in our relationship. So I look down at my ballerina flats, bell bottom flares and fitted t-shirt, roll my eyes and say, "No, granddaddy... I'm not". Then it got tense, "Well if you're not the masculine one... how is she your girlfriend?!" I took a deep breath and say, "She's a woman, right? So that would make her my girlfriend, RIGHT?!" He responds, "Hell, I don't know what the f*ck that is..." and walks away.
So at that point I'm angry, fighting back tears because I'm so sick of not being able to be myself in my own home. I can't even bring my girlfriend home because they find it offensive BUT then they try to attack me saying, "She must not care about you too much Victoria, she hasn't been around here to pick you up or take you out." I sit back thinking... the day my girlfriend rings that doorbell will be the day I come home and my shit is outside on the curb in black plastic bags (please excuse my language).
So I sit here and talk to you... whoever you are... if you even exist.
I found out a few days ago that my mom told my little sister I'm a lesbian. That kind of threw me off at first because when I first came out to my mom she told me that I couldn't tell my little brother and sister ever. So I feel so relieved knowing that my little sister knows and she's known for a while, nothing has changed between us.
Tonight is the midnight mass at my grandmothers church. I have to go because she expects me to sing in the choir for Christmas mass every year. She loves my voice and when I sing at church it puts tears in everyone's eyes... too bad I don't fully relate to the songs I'm singing, I'm just a good performer. I don't know if I can upload music clips to my blog but if I can maybe I'll let you hear a clip or two.
It's not 7:52 and I'm watching my girlfriend sleep on webcam... It's extremely comforting to me and it makes me feel so much better because I can't always be there and she definitely can't be here. I spent Monday and Tuesday with her, she lives about 45 minutes north of me off the highway but I usually make it a 30 minute trip. She bought me a beautiful necklace from Kay Jewelers... it's gorgeous, simple, just how I like it. I'm not really into the flash and glamour lifestyle. Actually let me see if I can get a picture of it in this blog... work with me here...
There we go! Isn't it just lovely!? I think so... I especially think so when I look in the mirror and see it around my neck. Are there smileys or emoticons for blogs? I'll have to look into that because I would love to use them.
Well Happy Christmas Eve whoever you are, wherever you are, if you even celebrate christmas... better yet
Happy Christmahanukwanzakah!
Peace & Love
An Inspired Mind
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