A Few Days Lost

Hey you! Whoever you are :)

It's been a couple days since I've said anything to you. I'm emotionally dead. I think I'm going through some huge  depression... I feel alone, I feel sad, I feel unwanted.

My girlfriend told me Tuesday morning that she basically doesn't think I can do anything for myself. That I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth and that without my parents I wouldn't know what to do with myself. She thinks I'm unable to care for myself, that I have no street smart but a lot of book smart. That stayed on my mind all Tuesday and kind of led into Wednesday... I told her that I dropped it and that we didn't have to talk about it anymore... But she'd be a fool to believe me.

I've never been stabbed in the heart so tough. She tried to comfort me and then she basically said eff it. She went from, "I'm sorry, I won't come at you like that anymore. Just cheer up." to "I wont apologize for what I said but I'm sorry you're hurting." I'm not sure why I expected her to give a damn about my feelings (excuse my language), I don't think she ever does.

Today she took a personal day... she took pictures of herself and then dedicated herself to photoshop and redesigning her webpage... I always come after something. She's always my first priority, I feel like I'm rarely hers.

So I went to lunch with my best friend today... We went to Applebees and caught up on everything we had missed from each others lives. We ate this Triple Chocolate Meltdown that I really needed for my life... The taste of warm chocolate and fudge mixed with vanilla icecream was so soothing. It killed every pain, every doubt and every hurt I had instantly... and then it wore off. I guess chocolate can be the answer sometimes.

Well.. I don't really have much else to say... I'm having a hard time talking right now because I'm hurt...

I would like to just temporarily disappear.

An Inspired Mind.