A letter from my mind to my heart

Dear Beautiful;

I noticed you were struggling and I saw your tears. I have something I think you should know. I think you should know that you're amazing and it's okay to be on your own. I know you're hoping for things to be okay and for her to come back with open arms but just in case. It's okay to be alone. It's okay to think for yourself and not have to consider someone else. I know it's hard to walk away from the one you love by force and not by choice but it doesn't have to be hell. You are a beautiful, strong and very intelligent young woman. I know you feel like you just lost the world, but sweetheart so did she. It's okay to cry. It's completely normal that you feel lost. I know that you're no longer motivated because she was your goal but it's okay now. You can be your own motivation, your own cheerleader and you make a new goal.

You know, if she loves you as much as she says she does, it wont be easy for her to walk away either. If she does walk away then she wasn't meant for you honey. If she walks away from you then she was meant to be a lesson, to help you grow and to prime you for the woman who is going to come and be "The One". It's okay to believe in fairy tales but know that every fairytale is different. Every story has a different ending. No one is in charge of how yours turns out except you. I know you feel like it shouldn't be this hard because you haven't seen her in months but when you love someone, years could go by without seeing them and you'd still feel horrible when they left. Yes, I know... you were supposed to be ready. I know, you weren't supposed to cry. I know that the things she says cut into you deeper than imaginable. I also know that you can take anything from anyone. About a year ago you were unstoppable, remember that? A year ago you knew who you were, what you stood for and what you wanted out of life. Bring that beautiful woman back out.

If she doesn't come back just remember, there is no guilt in loving her. There is only pain from having her walk away from you. And while you may feel like a lost puppy who's owner just dropped them off in a park and left when you weren't looking... You will find your way. Engulf yourself in your work, find a new passion to keep you busy. Hey! I have an idea! Maybe you should start latch-hooking again! Make some new pillows! Crochet a new blanket! Start a scrapbook of this summer. Yes... I know you planned on spending your time with her this summer especially with you having your car. Yes... I know you planned on waking up in her bed on weekends and she just didn't know it yet. I know... but it's okay. She's a good woman and so are you. Maybe you two just aren't at a point where you can work together. I know you don't want to hear that but... maybe in a few months when her life becomes a little more sane and when you calm down a little bit everything will go back to the way you remembered it.

Hold on to the way she looks at you when you were sitting on her lap, remember how you laughed together, don't ever forget the way she used to hold you in your sleep. Remember the kisses and how she always wanted more. How she would smile at you whenever you looked at her. Take the good memories with you and start walking down a new path, if she decides to grab your hand and pull you back, WONDERFUL. If she doesn't, don't be hurt just realize you're growing into a wonderful woman and I'm sure she knows that too. Both of you together can work this out, but it takes two and you're tired and she doesn't act like she cares very much. Stop stressing. Study for your finals. Stop calling her. Send her a goodnight text and tell her to have a good night at work and then in the morning if she doesn't call you, call her when you get up. Take it one day at a time. If she doesn't answer, try again the next day. It will be okay.

You are a beautiful, strong and intelligent young woman and in you all things are possible.

.An Inspired Mind.
(literally)