The Break-Up Blues...

I just realized I have to take this god damned necklace off! SHIT!

Fucking waterworks all over again. I love this damn necklace but it doesn't mean anything anymore. I wish she would have never given me this.

I'm fucking hyperventilating just trying to take this shit off.

Okay I got it off... I'm fucking crying again damnit.

I've got to be strong. I have to be. It's best for her... I have to do this for her... I have to go... and go completely.

I've realized that every playlist I have is now my fucking enemy... stupid love songs that don't stand for anything. It's going to be a WHOLE LOT of alternative, heavy metal "I HATE YOU" (even though I don't hate her lol) type of songs for the next few weeks... I'll probably never be able to like Trust by Keyshia Cole and Monica again and it will be a while before I can sing my Whitney Houston songs. I don't even want to touch my guitar... she really liked that song I wrote... Like genuinely liked it... UGGHHHH this hurts sooo bad.

I have swollen eyes, a stuffy nose and a headache... I think I'm going to sleep today and give myself a chance to get my shit together. I am my mothers child. I am strong, smart and beautiful. I will get through this...

Fuck... I have Sociology tutoring at noon...

I just text her seeing if she wants the necklace back... Maybe she could return it and get her money back or at least a store credit.

I'm going to throw away these rose bushes when I get up... I can't let go of the stuffed animals... This one doesn't smell like her anymore lol I sniffed all that out a long time ago and the other one is still in the bag.

She doesn't want the necklace back... I want to put it back on, but... I feel like thats wrong...

I don't know... Maybe I will go to class just to get my mind off of this...

If anyone is reading this blog, you know... I'm sorry for how fucked up my thoughts are right now...

Why couldn't I just be what she needed? Why did that have to be the one plate I couldn't seem to step up to no matter how hard I tried?! This is going to be hard...

I'm going to try to go back to sleep...

I have officially gone through a whole box of Kleenex.

.An Inspired Mind.