So recently I've noticed that I stress myself out by overthinking, keeping waaayyy too much to myself and not blabbing enough. So when I meditate I try to release all tension and all thoughts from my mind. I've come up with the Meditation Blab and I encourage others to do it with me. I find it difficult to let things go until I talk about them so I may not write every day but I will definitely write 3-4 times a week to keep myself from having an "Autistic Moment" here and there... there were probably some chuckles from those of you who know what my autistic moments are, especially those of you who have witnessed my little breakdowns lol.
Today I woke up exhausted at around 1pm I believe. I worked my first midnight shift last night and I was only supposed to be there from 11pm to 4am but I ended up staying until 7am to just knock it out. The night went pretty well, I had fun and a lot of laughs during training. I doubt I've mastered it but I definitely have a good enough idea to do it myself.
I've been looking a lot at my skin lately... seeing my spots show up more and more on my body... It's like once a week I have to convince myself that even if I do lose my color in some places I'll still be beautiful... I used to be afraid of people with pigmentation disorders when I was younger... it used to scare me how half of a womans face could be chocolate smooth brown and with spots of white and yellow. But when I look back at it... she was beautiful with her salt and pepper hair. I've decided that if my skin ever gets to that point I'm going to buy a dalmation and we're going to match lol :)
Thanks to an amazing friend of mine I am no longer over stressing about graduation and when I'll get there. I've realized that I'm only human and that I'm rushing this for my parents and my grandparents but I'm not enjoying college. I only get to get my first degree ONCE. So I've decided to take my time on these last few credits and let it ease on by.
It's crazy how I slept in my Queen size bed by myself for about 16 years without any problems but now... it's lonely and I hate being in it... more than anything in the world, I hate it.
My house is cluttered and it's driving me insane but I don't have the energy to clean it and organize it.
Tomorrow I'm cooking yams, brocolli and cheese, short ribs, greens and maybe a pound cake when I wake up. I'm craving something real, sick of eating microwaved food from my house and every fast food restaurant within 5 miles of 322 Glenbrooke St.
I'm looking forward to Greenfield Village next week, I've never been and a certain someone has been telling me about how amazing it is for over a year now lol
Today was Yates Cider Mill's opening day... I wish I would have went but maybe I can squeeze that into next week... we're just going to call that my BREATHING week... the week between summer and fall semesters...
I don't like apple juice warm... It really bothers me but I don't like ice in it either... restaurants are going to have to do better.
I'm still uber excited about my townhouse... I've already started thinking about the small menu for my housewarming party.....
Capri suns are nasty warm too...
Oh and I'm pretty sure I passed my history class :)
I think that's all I've got.
Until Next Time,
Madness Released. :)
