Thursday, December 26, 2013

The 1 Stupid Question

So, if you were raised by parents who actually tried to allow you to develop a creative mind, like mine, you were probably told that there is no such thing as a stupid question.

Well....

I'm here to tell you that's a fucking lie.

And the crazy part about it is that the stupid question was a question I asked my damn self!!

So someone I care about a lot is going through hell and back right now and I'm trying to be there for her but she doesn't respond to my calls and she rarely texts me back... So me, being me, say "Well... her phone is always off and she's going through a lot so I know she doesn't wanna talk 4real..."

Then the stupid question hit...

I sat here and thought... "How do you be there for someone who doesn't act like they want you around?" And I was serious though!

I coulda slapped myself. As soon as my mind comprehended that thought.... automatic straight face -_- ......

Answer to the stupid question of 2013...

YOU FUCKING DON'T. And I know that. So let me fully explain.

When people are going through shit and you try to be there for them but they look right through your efforts, you know what you do?? You say... "Okay, I tried..." and you go on with your life. When people have all the chaos in their life calming down, they will realize that you were trying to be there for them and you care. If they don't see it they are blind and then you pull out the Young Dro anthem "F.D.B" and move on. People come to you when they are ready. Not before. You can't force people to listen, or deal with things, or talk to you any faster than they want to. And MOST IMPORTANTLY...

JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT IS GOING THROUGH SHIT... YOU CANNOT... I repeat... YOU CANNOT MAKE THEIR PROBLEM THE PROBLEM IN YOUR LIFE AS WELL.

That's how you drive yourself nuts. Here's the script I've memorized:

"You're hurting, I understand, I sympathize with your pain. I understand that you have a lot on your plate and it's probably overwhelming. I want you to know that I'm here for you, when you're ready to talk give me a call or shoot me a text"

You say that. Just that. You don't get your emotions involved. You don't make it about you. It's not about you. When someone is hurting, grieving, mourning... you DO NOT make their grief about you... Here's what you don't say:

"You're hurting, I understand, I sympathize with your pain. I understand that you have a lot on your plate and it's probably overwhelming. I want you to know I'm here for you, but you're acting like you don't see me trying. I'm always calling to check on you, I'm always texting you and you never fucking respond. How am I supposed to be here for you in your time of need if you act like you don't even want me here? Answer me that."

That ladies and gents, is a very fast way to get yourself deleted and blocked from someone's phone and life. While you may be feeling that way, understand that this isn't about you. It's a very selfish thing to feel, but most humans are selfish beings, so I don't fault you on that. It's also very immature. When you actually care about someone their moment of need is more important than your desire to be noticed.

And that's my schooling for the day.

There is such a thing as a stupid ass question, and now, it's been answered.

Thanks for listening.

.Just1InspiredMind.