Please Stay...

I'm sitting here in my kitchen chair,
Reminiscing on what it was and what was there...
Tears hit my keyboard as I envision you here
Ripping my chest into pieces
Tearing my soul from my existence
How do you love so deep?

As I beg and plead,
No baby don't leave...
I need you to be here...
I need you to lead...
ME.
How do you love so deep?

Grease my scalp just one more time...
Whisper gentle everythings in my ear as I lay in your skin...
Take me past cloud 9 with your presence.
Don't touch me,
Wait... Hold me.
Pull me closer,
Love me dearly...
How in the world do you love so deep?

*Song Change*
Now playing
Ledisi- In the morning/alright

Baby...
My heart...
Will you love me?
Past my indiscretions...
Past my annoying tendencies
Will you love me?
Can you see me?
Human and bare...
I've never gone there...
I've spilled it all
I've told my tale.

Looked into your eyes
I showed you my soul
And while I'm not perfect
My spirit is Gold.
Move with me,
Grow with me.
Love me enough to trust me...
Just.
Once.
More.

Breathe with me.
Everything is everything...
It's Alright.

I'm not crying wolf... I'm crying love.
I'm leaping but I'm looking...
Catch me one more time?

*Song change*
Kem- Share my life

It took me a while...
I'm always behind.
I love you more than words explain.

I'll give you my heart,
I'll promise my love.
Compassion and sensitivity towards your every move.
I move when you move.
No more brick walls.
I heard you the whole time...
I just didn't know how to.....

Be
WhoINeeded2Be.

Can you trust me one more time?
Go out on a limb just once...
I won't let you fall...
It's a scary trip,
Trusting someone...

You're my heart and my joy...
Share my life...
You can trust in me
You're all I want.

EVERYTHING I NEED.

I really mean it bae...
I'll give you what you want baby
If you want it
YOU CAN HAVE IT
BABY IT's YOURS!

My love
My trust
My compassion
My eyes
My heart
My hands
My being
My soul
My world.

*Song change*
Heather Headley
In My Mind

Who am I?
My name is Victoria Ashley Esnault
I am 21 years old, born April 11, 1990 4:23am.

Born... Here.
Raised... Hopping between family members

I am a loving, trying to be independent young woman who fell in love.

I was secretly afraid to lose you...

I was secretly afraid I wasn't enough...

I am majorette, flag girl, President of 3 organizations...

Lover of music, Inspirer of Dreams.

Believer in Fairytales

And In my mind I'll always be your lady

*Song Change*
Lyfe Jennings- Stingy

I Get it...

I really understand.

I don't wanna share you with nothing...

I'll give you the air I breathe...

I'm sorry it took me so long to see.

I want you back in bed with me...

*Song Change*
Ledisi- Pieces of me

I want you to know me from the outside-in to the inside-out

I'm bearing all.

I should have done this a long time ago...

Pieces of Me:

I love peruvian lillies, long walks through trees...

Olive Garden is my weakness but there's a little spot on Opdyke called Alfocinnos that I die for

My weakness is flowers, dinner for two and quality time just me and you

My strength is my family, your love and God's will.

School isn't really the most important thing to me...

I had a miscarriage when I was only 15.

I lost myself when I lost my baby...

My grandmother wanted me to have an abortion... My grandmother...

She said she would kick me out, I would have no where to go...

I prayed for God to give me a second chance and I would never have unprotected sex again...

I lost my baby girl.

But it was my prayer... right?

I got my first girlfriend at 16.

My family turned on me anyway...

When I was 19, I lost myself again...

I felt like I was spiraling downward

In a relationship with a woman who didn't care 2 craps about me

I went to counseling twice a week.

Trying to figure out who I was and what was wrong with me?

Why wasn't I lovable?

Was I just too plain?

Looking back at my past...

The abuse, neglect....

Did I have nothing to gain?

Suicidal Moments

Rejection of self.

They thought I needed anti-depressants and psychiatric help

I stopped going to counseling, I wasn't gonna take any pills

They said I was moody, that talking helped to level me out.

I said, what does she know, drugging me up wouldn't help.

I got back into my religion when I turned 20...

My grandmother tried to raise me catholic...

but Catholocism wasn't doing it.

The Anti-Christ left me the day before my birthday...

I engulfed myself in God and said I would never lose it.

Summer of 2010 was the most sane I had ever been.

I wasn't flipping out, having flash backs, just my normal nightmares

I found someone who leveled me out, someone who really cared

I found a woman who was brilliant but I didn't tell her everything I didn't dare

I fell in love with this woman and decided to give her my all

I'd never done that before but she was the exception I always wanted...

She made me grow, she loved me flaws and all...

Even when I told her my deepest and darkest secrets...

She took it blow for blow...

I started to lose it again...

I should have went back to counseling...

And when I lost myself this time...

I kinda lost her too...

And now I'm gaining my sense of self and fighting to gain her too

She is the love of my life...

My other half, through and through...

And I just want you to know that while I'm a little off I can't lose you...

So in the words of Ledisi...

Please Stay...